Unlocking the Mystery of Same Sex Attraction

Find out How Same Sex Attraction Develops
It seems many are under the impression that gays and homosexuals are "just born that way," but studies of individuals with same sex attraction continue to point to a combination of common environmental factors as well as personality that necessarily contributed to the development of homosexual feelings.  The subject of same sex attraction, what causes it, and what may actually change or decrease such attractions to the same sex is complicated and deserves an open honest investigation of the facts.  The more you know the more you can help.  Get started.  Click a few of the links above and see what other organizations are saying about SSA.
People are born gay.

  We believe No One is Born Gay.  Homosexuality is a symptom of deep, non-sexual problems from early life when complex interactions of social and psychological factors leave normal emotional needs unmet.  Same sex attraction then occurs as the body’s unconscious attempt to fill legitimate homo-emotional needs.

Gays can’t change.

Thousands and thousands of former gays as well as organizations such as the National Association for Research and Treatment of Homosexuality or NARTH, Exodus, Courage, People Can Change, PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays) and so many more attest to the fact that men and women change every day.  Change does NOT mean gaining heterosexual desires. Change occurs first in the heart and intellect or will. Change is turning from a Gay Lifestyle towards a life of Faith and fidelity to God. Freedom involves loosening  the hold of SSA over a person's life and choices.

Same Sex Attraction is a sin.

While any homosexual act is intrinsically sinful, (as is any sexual act outside of marriage) feeling attracted to the same sex is NOT a sin.  It is a developmental disorder.
SSA Myth Busters
No One Chooses
Same Sex Attraction !
SSA Causes

  Many environmental factors contribute to the development of SSA, and researchers agree that no one thing is responsible.  Rather, a “conspiracy of factors” come together in the right amount and at the right time to divert sexual desires to unmet emotional needs.  While each person’s background is different, the emotional wounds which cause same sex attraction can be identified and healed. For example some common factors for males include:

Lack of an emotional bond with an absent or distant father, especially combined with a dominant,  controlling mother;
Peer rejection leading to poor self image and self-hatred;
Gender Identity Disorder;
Sexual or emotional abuse;
Early exposure to pornography or experimentation;
Perceptions of feeling unloved;
Poor body image;
sensitive personality;
Social deficits;
Social phobia or extreme shyness;
Lack of hand/eye coordination and resultant dislike of team sports and teasing by peers;
Same-sex-sibling rejection; 
Disrupted family life, parental loss by divorce or death;
Psychological depression;
anxiety disorder & more.

Remember no one factor is responsible, but a combination of factors and events usually combined with personality and perceptions contribute to the development of same sex attraction.

“Fixating on the homosexuality is like trying to cure the symptoms - not the sickness,” says ex-gay Mike Haley.  Homosexuality stems for the most part from damaged relationships.  Jeff Konrad, author of You Don’t Have to be Gay explains the reason for the strong feelings of attraction. “The homo-emotional drive is an innate proper urge to correct deficiencies, a reparative thing.”  Identifying the root causes for each person is key.  Only then can his legitimate same-sex needs be fulfilled through healthy, non-sexual friendships.  For most as the causes are unraveled and addressed, and healthy relationships are formed with heterosexual friends, the symptoms of SSA subside and often disappear entirely.  

There is much hope for individuals who suffer unwanted same sex attraction and are willing to work to overcome it.  Working with patients, faithful Christian psychologists, therapists and counselors are able to help uncover the roots. Organizations offer education, resources, and support.  Myriad self-help books and articles written by professionals and ex-gays are available as well.  Here are just a few of the many organizations with answers and help:
SSA Hope (ssahope.com)       NARTH.com           PFOX.org
COURAGE (couragerc.net)
EXODUS International (www.exodus.to/)
People Can Change.com
New Hope Ministries (newhope123.com)
Evergreen International.org
Same Sex Attraction.org

Real Support through Prayer

Perhaps the saddest part about SSAD is not the condition itself but the ignorance surrounding it.  Victims of this disorder are sucked into the false belief that they were born gay, and that their unhappiness stems from the world’s prejudice instead of from their emotionally damaged psyches.  Many feel forced to abandon their Christian faith, rejecting God and His word.  Worst of all they are forsaken by a vast majority of Christians who neglect to reach out to them in prayer.   Help us bring these SSA Children (young and old) before Jesus in prayer! Please join the society by emailing “Yes I Will Pray” to
Where does homosexuality come from?    Living Hope Ministries Answers the Question
The more you know, the more you grow.  Keep an open mind and heart; learn the truth about Same Sex Attraction.
Learn about Female Homosexuality or Lesbianism Here
Read about a gay man's journey to the Catholic Church
Open the Door
to Education
& Freedom
Heterosexuality is NOT the opposite of homosexuality.  The latter is a disorder, and the former is the natural result of normal sexual development and maturation.  But in order to heal and become whole, (which healing may or may not result in the development of heterosexual desires), prayer is needed.  Holiness cannot be reached without prayer.  The problem is many individuals suffering same sex attraction disorder or SSAD are unable to pray.  They are lost in a quagmire of misinformation, frustration, pain, guilt and shame.  They desperately need our Christian support and prayers. Please pledge to pray today.
Info (at)
“The answer to homosexuality is not heterosexuality.  It’s holiness!”
Visit our sister site for more education at
Teaching moment:
Chastity versus Celibacy
"Celibacy’s wider meaning refers to anyone who lives in an ongoing state of refraining from sexual intercourse. And in this sense, anyone who is unmarried should live “celibately.” However, a person could eventually marry and the celibacy would cease. More strictly, “celibacy” refers in the Church to a vowed, perpetual state of refraining from sexual relations that religious and priests undertake. Here the celibate state is ongoing and expected to be maintained for life.

Chastity is the virtue whereby we refrain from all unlawful sexual activity and intercourse. It is a virtue all are called to have, but its manifestation will vary based on one’s state in life.

Thus for the married, chastity means fidelity to one’s spouse in body, mind and heart. Any sexual contact with anyone outside of the marriage is adultery. Further, the viewing of pornography and fantasizing about someone other than the spouse is a form of unchastity. The use of contraception is also annexed to unchastity because it willfully excludes openness to the procreative dimension of sex.

For the unmarried, chastity means refraining from any form of genital sexual relations, to include inappropriate touching, immodest or inappropriate conversations, the viewing of pornography, masturbation and sexual fantasizing."
From Our Sunday Visitor Newsweekly, 1/4/2015, by Msgr. Charles Pope

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