As a parent of a child who has attractions to the same sex you undoubtedly have experienced the stages of grief. These are normally associated with the loss of a loved one. For SSA parents though, it is common to experience these stages again and again as time goes on, especially for Christian parents whose child may have rejected their faith. It can feel overwhelming for sure.
Loneliness and fear are two of the greatest sufferings for many SSA parents. Feeling cut off from family, friends and even your own church - all three areas where we should expect the greatest comfort and support. There is fear their child and their family will be misunderstood and harshly judged. At the realization or revelation that a son or daughter suffers same-sex attraction or is gay-identified, many retreat and bear their sorrow in private.
Those that retreat this way suffer all the more with no one to bear their burden in Christ (Gal 6:2.) But something even worse happens as a result of this secrecy and isolation. Their SSA child is missing out on communal prayer - prayer he or she desperately needs. We encourage all such parents to search for persons to share their burden and with whom they can open their hearts - pastors, counselors, parents groups trusted family members and close friends. Meanwhile Sorrowful Hearts is a place parents can come together for intercessory prayer for their loved one.
When you add your child to the Sorrowful Hearts Prayer List, they will be prayed for by all the members at least once a day. And by opening your own hearts to praying for other parent's children on the list, you will experience peace, a fruit of the Spirit, a gift from God from your brotherly love and charity.
God has a plan for your child with SSA.
God has a plan for you.
Will you answer the call to pray?
Will you step outside your personal pain to reach out to others in need?
Won't you spread your arms in prayer and embrace all the children of the Sorrowful Heart Society?
Say Yes to Prayer. Join Sorrowful Hearts Today!
"Some of the loved ones who contact an ex-gay ministry go away frustrated when they don't find a quick-fix formula. They take away the same grief and confusion they brought with them. Others embrace the reality that they can notr control another person's life. They come to realize that they can influence their gay loved one - through unconditional love, through holding onto God's truth and through consistent prayer. These family members and friends leave our ministries with a new perspective, a softened heart, even a renewed relationship with God."
At Sorrowful Hearts this is our prayer for all faithful parents who find their way here. God bless you on your journey with strength and an ever increasing abundance of faith, hope and love!
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Here lies the key to understanding how we must pray for our children. We may ask with every confidence that God will open the eyes of the morally and spiritually blind. We may ask that the self-deception which sinners hide behind may be burned away in the fierce light of truth, … We may ask above all that the glory of the face of Christ will shine through the spiritual blindness caused by (this) world (2Cor. 4:4). All of this we can ask with every assurance that God will not only hear but will delight to answer.
But we may not ask Him to force a man, woman or child to love and trust Him. To deliver them from overwhelming temptation: yes. To give them every opportunity: yes. To reveal His beauty, tenderness, forgiveness: yes. But to force a man against his will to bow the knee: not in this life. And to force a man to trust Him: never. (White 47-48)
White goes on to explain much about the misplaced prayers and expectations of many parents, and about how God cannot be manipulated by praise or sacrifice, (even though both are needed for our spiritual welfare). Parents must remember that they are not the savior of their children, (an easy trap to fall into since they are by nature and vocation the caretakers of their children). Instead, parents must have the same spirit of abandonment for which they pray for their children. God has a plan, and He will not swayed from it. He wills you to trust Him as you pray for your child. And as you pray for your child, and you yourself progress, leave matters to God. Serve Him and He will see to all your concerns.
How should we pray for our children? White answers:
To pray is to collaborate with God. It is to share His concern for our children and to bring His will to pass in their lives. … We can know God’s general plan for our children from scripture. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification…” (1 Thess. 4:3). He wants our children to be holy. He wants them to become His Son. So great is this desire that the Holy Spirit is actively working in their lives at this moment. He does not look on passively as we go about our struggle of rearing our children. Whether we see it or not , God is active. He invites us to help Him.
While, as we saw before, God cannot and will not force our children into His kingdom, His Holy Spirit reveals the person of Christ in such a way that issues like sin, judgment and righteousness become powerfully clear. … There is no better hope nor prayer for them than that the nature of their need and the reality of the love of Christ should so dominate their consciousness that they will be in the best possible condition to make a decision. (White 226-228)
Pick up a copy of White’s book, Parents in Pain, recommended by Dr. James Dobson. Filled with helpful analogies and balanced thinking, it may help you as you struggle with your child’s same sex attraction condition. One more thought, St. Paul tells us that we are sanctified by our children. The SSA cross, which the whole family bears, can sanctify you as well as your child. Praise God!
Anita Worthen on Finding Hope
Excerpt from Someone I Love Is Gay)
John White on How to Pray
Excerpt from Parents in Pain
Remember to accept your child with unconditional love. Accept them as they are. Learn more about what a parent can do. Click here:
Advice for Parents & Relatives
Three testimonies of former homosexuals and their journey back to the Church.
(one hour long)
Miracles can happen
and you are the beginning
of a miracle for your child!
Catholic Ministry for the spiritual needs of parents, family and friends of persons who have SSA
Thanks for viewing.
Shock, Grief, Pain, Fear...
Breathe & Pace Yourself
Together, united in prayer for each other's children, Sorrowful Hearts can storm heaven for the help children need.
SO MUCH TO CONSIDER
SO MUCH TO LEARN